


the cat's meow

by bloomsoftly



Series: green to the end of days [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awkward!Bucky, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Prompt Fill, including her cat, the whole world wants bucky and darcy to get together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 22:51:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10863735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomsoftly/pseuds/bloomsoftly
Summary: prompt fromWino: "Why, pussies love me, doll." Bonus points if Darcy tricks Bucky into cat sitting. Double points if Steve is there to watch!





	the cat's meow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wino/gifts).



> I don't even know what this is, besides pure and unmitigated ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Bucky had a problem.

He could have sworn he used to be more subtle, but lately he couldn’t seem to control the way his eyes tracked Dr. Foster’s gorgeous assistant every time she walked into a room.

This morning was no different. Darcy walked into the common room kitchen as he and Steve were reading the morning paper, and suddenly the news wasn’t nearly as captivating. He watched as she puttered about the kitchen and grabbed her favorite coffee mug—he knew it read _the universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons, & morons_, even if he couldn’t technically see the words from this angle.

As Darcy moved to pour herself a cup of coffee (three creams, two sugars), Bucky was distracted from his perusal by a less-than-subtle snort. Bucky turned to glare at Steve, annoyed, but his best friend just stared at him in amusement over the top of his own newspaper. Slowly, Steve folded his newspaper and laid it down on the table. With a jerk of his chin in Darcy’s direction, Steve teased softly, “You could just ask her out, Buck. Everyone but Darcy knows you like her, anyway.”

With a shrug, Bucky folded his own newspaper and set it aside. There was no point in pretending he was still reading it. Drumming his fingertips lightly on the tabletop, Bucky side-eyed Steve for a moment. He huffed bitterly, “What, you think I ain’t tryin’? I’ve been flirtin’ with her for months now, punk.”

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. “Ever think that maybe you’re bein’ too subtle, jerk? Why don’t you try just up and askin’ her on a date?” He glanced at Darcy, who was now walking toward them, and muttered, “Look, here’s your chance.”

Darcy plopped down across from Bucky unceremoniously, and after a nod and a quick ‘good morning, Darce,’ Steve picked his newspaper back up with a loud rustle. Bucky smiled at her as well, watching as she took a sip of her coffee and winced when it burned her tongue.

Setting her cup down, Darcy met Bucky’s eyes. With the air of someone about to ask a question of immense importance, Darcy looked him dead in the eye and questioned, “So, Barnes. Dogs or cats?”

 _What?_ Bucky looked at her questioningly, but Darcy just watched him expectantly.

With Steve’s words still echoing in his ears, Bucky decided it was time to be brave. He tried the boldest line he could think of and teased, “Why, pussies love me, doll.”   _Which, yeah, not your best line, Bucky_. He was clearly decades out of practice.

Steve laughed outright and stood abruptly. Folding his newspaper under his arm, he chuckled, “And on that note, I’ll see the two of you later. Nice to see you, Darce. Bucky, _behave_.”

Then it was just the two of them in the kitchen. Darcy examined him thoughtfully while she drank her coffee. Bucky felt a bit like a bug under a magnifying glass, but gamely held her gaze. Eventually, she wondered, “I can’t tell if you actually meant that or if you’re just fucking with me, Barnes.”

In for a penny, in for a pound. “How many times I gotta tell you, doll? It’s Bucky, not Barnes. And I was tellin’ you the truth—I’d be happy to prove it, if you want?” _Please, Darce, give me a shot. Let me take you on a date._

She looked at him skeptically—almost disappointed?—for a long moment, took a long sip of her coffee, then said, “Alright, fine.”

“I could take you—wait, what?”

Darcy huffed. “I said yeah. Are you taking back your offer?”

“No, of course not. Okay, what would you like—”

“My place tonight? 7:00?” She got up from the table abruptly, snagging her now-empty cup, and headed to the kitchen sink. When he didn’t respond immediately, she looked over her shoulder at him and prompted, “Bucky? My apartment, tonight?”

With no idea what just happened, Bucky gave the only response he could. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be there.”

With a wink, she sashayed to the door. “Great. It’ll be a good time, you’ll see.”

Bucky sat there, dumbfounded, for longer than he’d like to admit.

The rest of the day passed quickly, with Bucky caught between nervousness and excitement for his date with Darcy.

At 6:45, Bucky paced back and forth through his apartment’s living room as Steve looked on, delighted. His best friend mocked, “If only the dames you used to step out with could see you now, Buck. You, a nervous wreck! No one would’ve believed it.”

“Shut up, punk,” Bucky muttered. He was distracted from any further teasing from Steve by a text from Darcy.

_You can go straight in. The door’s unlocked. ;)_

Bucky pivoted on his heel and headed for the door without a word to Steve. At the last second, he stopped in his tracks and turned back. “Shit. I should’ve bought some flowers, yeah?” He glanced at the clock and bit his lip, raking his hand anxiously through his hair; there was no time to leave the tower and come back.

Steve just laughed. “You’ll be fine, Buck. People don’t buy flowers too much these days, anyway.”

He nodded and reached for the door knob. “Bye, punk.”

“I won’t wait up!” Steve’s laughter followed him down the hall.

The trip from Bucky and Steve’s apartment to Darcy’s floor seemed to take forever and yet no time at all. Remember Darcy’s text, Bucky opened the door and called, “Hey, Darce. Are you hungry? I was thinkin’ maybe we could grab some takeout or—”

The apartment was empty.

Well, that wasn’t precisely true: there was a fat cat lounging in the middle of Darcy’s sofa, eyeing him distrustfully. Not wanting to intrude on Darcy’s privacy but wondering what the hell was going on, Bucky poked around the common rooms of the apartment. They were all empty, which left only her bedroom to investigate. There was no way in hell he’d enter that room without Darcy’s permission. Instead, he lightly knocked and called out her name.

No answer. Confused, Bucky pulled out his phone and shot Darcy a text. _Hey, doll. Did I get the wrong time for our date?_

His phone chimed almost immediately. _Date? I thought you were coming over to hang out with Comet, and he’s right there._ There’s a pause, and then his phone chimed again. _You did say you were good with pussies_.

Bucky looked around the apartment for a second. _Comet?_ What—his eyes landed on the cat. _Oh_. So that’s what this was about. To be honest, Bucky didn’t know how to respond. He just stood there, stung. After a moment, he gathered himself enough to call Steve.

“What’s wrong, Buck? I thought you were on your date with Darcy right now.” Laughter vibrated in Steve’s voice, and Bucky wondered—

“Did you know, punk?”

Steve sobered quickly. “Did I know what, Bucky?”

“Did you know that Darcy was only askin’ me to babysit her cat, you jackass? I guess I offended her this morning, or—it doesn’t matter. She ain’t interested.”

Steve’s breath hissed through his teeth, audible even through the phone. “No, Buck, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, bud—I know how much you like her.”

“It’s fine. I’m heading back to the apartment now.” Bucky hung up without waiting for Steve’s response. He didn’t want his best friend’s sympathy right then.

Scrubbing his hand over his face, Bucky turned to exit the apartment. He didn’t even make it a full step before he was interrupted by the loudest yowl he’d ever heard. He turned his head to see Comet stretching languidly on the sofa and looking at him imperiously.

“What do you want, cat? I’m gettin’ outta your hair now, you don’t need to get angry.” The cat just blinked at him, then hopped off the couch and sidled toward him. Bucky stood frozen, perplexed. The cat weaved between his legs as best he could, fat stomach swaying side to side. He rubbed his fur all over Bucky’s pant legs and purred like a motor engine.

Helpless in the face of the feline’s wiles, Bucky bent to scratch Comet behind his ears.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding were you?” Bucky snapped upright, feeling like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Gesturing at Comet, Darcy explained, “He doesn’t like most men.”

Well, this was awkward. Meeting her eyes briefly, Bucky dipped his head and muttered, “Sorry, I’m on my way out.”  He stepped away from Comet, ignoring the cat’s furious growl. He took two steps toward the door, trying to skirt around Darcy, when he stopped and added, “Look, I’m sorry if I said somethin’—”

“What did you mean by _date_?”

“What?”

“You said, ‘did I get the wrong time for our date?’ What did you mean by that?”

Bucky looked at her, perplexed. “I thought we were goin’ on a date.” This evening was humiliating enough already, so he saw no harm in adding, “I’ve been sweet on you for months, and I thought—”

“So you didn’t just want to have sex with me?”

 _What?_ “What? No. I mean, it’s not that I don’t want—c’mon, Darce. I’ve been following you around like a lovestruck puppy for months. I want you to be my girl.”

“Oh, thank God,” she said, and launched herself at him.

-:-

Later, when they were sweaty and sated and satisfied in Darcy’s bed, Bucky pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her shoulder and teased, “You know, you still gotta take me on a date. I ain’t that easy, doll.”

With a wicked grin, Darcy pushed against his shoulder. He let her roll him onto his back and straddle him, smiling up at her with unabashed tenderness.

She bit her lip and bargained, “Yeah, I’ll take you somewhere real nice.” Scraping a fingernail down his chest and leaning in for a sloppy kiss, Darcy rocked her hips and said, “But I got something I want to try, first.”

They both ignored the ringing of Bucky’s phone and the disgruntled scratching at Darcy’s door.

-:-

Up in his and Bucky’s apartment, Steve grinned to himself and dropped his phone back onto the table. “Guess I didn’t need to wait up, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> I post these on [tumblr](https://bloomsoftly.tumblr.com) first.
> 
>  
> 
> [Send me a prompt and feed the muse!](https://bloomsoftly.tumblr.com/ask)


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